A Bittersweet Death

Well, I am officially grandparentless. My grandmother died early Thursday morning, July 3, 2008. It was both expected and unexpected. She was 93 and more than ready to go. She has been steadily going downhill, ever since my grandfather died almost 6 years ago. She went from living in the same house for 50 years to a retirement home, then to an assisted living home, then to another assisted living home since the first one was hit by a tornado and destroyed everything right up to her room. She had a couple of hospital and nursing home/rehabilitation stays during that time but she always made it back to where she was. Although she had been slowing going downhill she had no major medical problems--basically just old age and severe arthritis, nothing in itself that would kill her. But it was painful, and she was sure to let me know that she was ready to die just about every time I saw her the past several years. Which, to say the least, did not make my visits with her that enjoyable.

Then about a month ago she ended up back in the hospital. Nothing too major. Some of her mineral levels had gotten really low and she had ended up confused and then unconcious, which could have also been due to her over self-medicating, whether intentionally or unintentionally. She was there for about a week and since my aunt and uncle who live in town were leaving to go out of the country for 2 weeks on the day she was admitted and my father lives an hour away, I checked on her everyday and even did paperwork that I'm not sure I was legally allowed to do. When she was ready to be discharged she still wasn't strong enough to return to the assisted living place so she was put in a nursing home for rehabilitation. I again got her settled in and checked on her. She didn't always show her gratitude either which made it difficult for me. Thus, after my aunt and uncle returned to town I took a break from my almost daily visits. Then, I was going to go check on her after a little more than a week on Thursday. Well, early that morning I found out she had passed away. She passed quickly in her sleep, as she had wanted. The cause is not for sure but my dad suspects a leaking aortic aneurism.

Therefore, as I began, it was both expected and unexpected. With the slow deteroration and recent hospital visit we all new it was coming. I just expected to have a little warning, for her to be in the hospital or something. But there wasn't, and it was probably for the better. She is in heaven where she wanted to be and I know she is happy.

The last picture I think I have of my grandmother, from Christmas 2007.

Allie Louise Brown

10/27/14 - 7/3/08